Corey Haim was born with a certain inner rhythm.

I’ve been reading everywhere about the Corey Confessions that aired on AE’s “The Two Coreys” this past week. On the show, both Coreys claimed to have been molested early on in their careers, something I do not exactly doubt, but have trouble processing given the improv/scripted format of the show (it was originally touted as a fictional/reality hybrid). The show follows fictional realities, and unapologetically so, yet everyone (meaning the entertainment blog world) seems to be treating this past episode as if it is unadulterated truth. I shouldn’t be writing about this as I haven’t yet seen the episode—-sadly, the show hasn’t hit SurfTheChannel yet—-and can’t provide any proof to support my suspicions. Still, I wanted to point you towards a fascinating moment in 1989, when Corey Haim wanted to prove to everyone he was not on drugs.

Corey Haim was still a teen idol in the late 1980s, but barely. Rumors of drug use had already damaged his star power, which is why he chose to film a video to address “the whole misconception thing, from the people out there.” Thanks Corey. Now we have Corey Haim: Me, Myself, and I, a video with production values that, as one YouTube viewer aptly pointed out, remind one of a porn sans sex. Some delightful winner out there compiled a montage of the video’s best moments, including Corey’s assertion that he’d like to stop playing the little brother and start playing the big brother or—-ooh!—-the only brother, and footage of a completely blitzed Corey creating his own “Japanese funk.”

Sure, it seems funny now, but you know there were girls out there who took this video Very Seriously. Shower nozzle style.

He hadn’t yet hit the bloat and incomprehensibility of the nineties.

~ by champagnelaugh on June 25, 2008.